Snow Day?

Beautiful Dreary Day

Beautiful Dreary Day

If you enjoy bad weather as much as I enjoy bad weather, Minnesota has become a very disappointing state.  What used to be a climatological paradise is now pretty damn dull.  Like Hawaii.

Then, as if to rub it in, the weather and news people whine about any weather that isn’t precisely like Hawaii beach weather.  Correct that, let me be more precise:  They whine about weather that isn’t precisely like ideal Hawaii beach weather.

You live and work in Minnesota.  Cheer on the cold and snow, the sleet and wind, the rain and fog.  I’ll even cheer on a good heat wave once in a while, but that directs us to another problem.

Once upon a time we could say — without irony or being dishonest– something like “Don’t like the weather?  Wait a minute.  It will change.”  Can’t say that anymore.

Minnesota’s weather hell…no, it isn’t as exciting as that….Minnesota’s weather purgatory includes a whole lot of the same day after day after day.  The typical Sisyphean nightmare involves day after day of dry weather for months (what we once called winter) followed by months of hot humid weather in the summer, a season which has squeezed out both Minnesota Fall and Minnesota Spring.

It is a drag.  And it is sad.

A Good Stem Christie is a Rare Find Today

Today A Good Stem Christie is a Rare Find

How sad, you say?  Well, weather-loving guys like me get excited about Winter Weather Advisories.  We get excited if there is even an advisory hinting that there might be an Advisory.  It gets worse.  When watching your favorite TV anchors squirm and roll their eyes about “bad hair days” is as bad as the weather gets, you’ve got problems.

First of all, you have people with a vanity insecurity complex delivering your news — which isn’t surprising, I suppose — these are the people who dropped out of drama school.  And, second, you have “weather” that occasionally amounts to some puffy gusts of wind.  We used to call that breezy and hoped it was enough to lift our kites when I was a boy.

When I was a boy…god, things have gone to pieces since then, haven’t they?  Kind of makes me wish I had gotten out of bed and done something like move to Mount Washington.

Ah well…I need to unwind and loosen up (obviously)…nothing but a ball of bitterness over here.  (Actually, I am having a lot of fun, but don’t tell anyone.)  I think I will go ski.  A quick run down a few hills followed by a moment at the ski chalet bar winking at snow bunnies should do the trick.


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