Why Secede When Somalia is Available?

_64545647_som_controlled_areas_30429sepI have an idea for all the anti-government, anti-tax “Americans” wanting to secede from the United States.  Self-deport to Somalia!  If there were ever a paradise for the self-made man…the rugged individualist who does it all on his own…there it is.  No government to get in your way, no threat of health care reform, no taxes that I’m aware of (you can choose to opt out), and maybe best of all, guns everywhere.  You can even outfit your own little army and call yourself colonel.

I’m sure IBMs and General Motors and Microsofts will be popping up like weeds over there.  Business thrives when it is untethered from bothersome government control and moochers.  Unlike Americans, Somalis will be grateful for a job and willing to work for pennies to show their gratitude.  Worker benefits?  Hell, who would think to ask?  They’ll be grateful to be alive, right?

And you can raise your family the old-school way, the righteous way.  Evolution?  Out.  Climate change?  Not in Somalia.  Supply side economics.  That’s in, hassle free.  And you can make up all the lies you want about your founding fathers.

Mitt Romney — where is he, by the way? — had a great idea when he suggested self-deportation, he simple addressed it to the wrong people.  We can be a better and stronger nation once again looking at a brighter future.  We just need a mass exodus of GOPers.  Why not claim Somalia as your own? (Please do.  Tell us how it works out.)


2 thoughts on “Why Secede When Somalia is Available?

  1. Pingback: I Am Beyond The Point of Caring, but I Cared Enough to Write Again. « A Little Tour in Yellow

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