Maybe It Is a Haunting!

We can all agree that this Halloween is especially frightening.  Conservatives give the season an especially dreadful feel this year.  But I am more immediately concerned about the haunting that has begun at my place in recent nights.

There is a noise — no, let’s call it a presence, that sounds better — there is a presence that chooses to exist in whatever room is adjacent to the room I am in.  It is a scratchy, pecking noise, just audible enough to make you wonder…

Late last night I suspected mice in the kitchen were ruining my fresh loaf of seven grain bread, but I found no mice.  Then I was awoken from my sleep by the sound of crumpling paper.  Again, I guessed mice.  No mice.  And right now I am hearing little clicking noises coming from the kitchen.

I’m not even going to get up and check it out.  I won’t find anything, other than maybe a monster or a ghost or something because we all know this is the time of the year when ghosts and monsters muster up a sense of humor.  They’re playing with me, obviously, and I’m not in the mood for jokes.

Of course I have to consider the possibility that I might have uncorked a bottle of bad Brunello, if there really could be such a thing, and perhaps I am hallucinating.  The snaps, crackles, and pops could all be in my head, which wouldn’t be the first time.  Or maybe my cat has come back to visit me.  She is on the other side now, chasing birds in paradise…naughty birds, no doubt, set to a short stint as the plaything of cats in heaven.  (It’s a kind of purgatory for bad birds, I think.)

Whatever it is, I want to find out with as little stress, mess, and madness as possible.

So naturally I am hoping I might find a witch tonight — preferably one in sleek latex or satin and lace — to come home later and chase the demon — or demons — away.  (Sounds kind of fun, doesn’t it?)  Seeing that I am feeling remarkably handsome today, I don’t think that this plan is a bad one nor is it beyond the realm of possibility.

Telling a witch — and god, I have known a few — that I have something strange at home I’d like to show her might not sound like the best pick up line, but I’m going to give it a go.  I have to do something, after all.  Sleeping with garlic and silver crosses just feels plain old silly.

Ok, now I am going to go take a peek in the kitchen.



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