I find myself staying awake so I can fall asleep. I am doing that more and more. I’d say it is a mode of existence, but that sounds like a cliché, and the last thing you want to be is cliché, especially right out of the chute. Best to keep a level coolness, if not aloofness, about it all.
But sleep is a cherished escape, and seeking it can be gained by denying it, like so many things we seek and cherish.
I did do the right thing today, though. I left the windows open, all of them, while the sun still shined too brightly. And I walked away.
Tonight then, when I returned to my rooms, wide swaths of moonlight – like ghostly sunshine – glowed brightly against the otherwise blue-black darkness of everything. Crickets rang out from everywhere, from all corners of my rooms, and loudly enough to shut out any lingering distraction. And as if on a cue, a puff of wind billowed a curtain hanging in a window, marking measures of the ethereal that flowed around me. And right there I could have been anywhere…
So one has to wonder then, why seek any escape?