I had to leave my favorite neighborhood restaurant, Tilia, this afternoon because I experienced unhealthy thoughts for a nerd. Let me tell you about it.
My friend and I — we’ll call him Frank — noticed a gorgeous threesome on the sidewalk pondering the restaurant. They were far too elegant for a planned outing together. My guess is they fell asleep after a night out and decided food was a good idea. The woman in a tight Paper Mate blue cocktail dress was especially stunning, even if she had topped 50.
Frank and I thought we should clear a few spots at the bar so they would have a place to sit. That is when my unhealthy crush — and her husband — said thank you and took the seats.
This is an adorable couple directly from central casting. Think Twin Peaks or Fargo. He fishes, but only between 5:00 and 9:00 a.m. so they can be together. He likes to eat, especially fish. She likes to eat, too. And they drink Canadian wine.
She is not my type. Too nice and a shaped like a pear. But I fell for her fast. Beautiful, smart, and easy company. My imagination lit up and I undressed her immediately. Milky white skin spotted with moles, I expect. No grooming, but I might be surprised. I suspect she is a clinger and hugger. Her mouth, sweet breath and all, is made perfectly for kissing…the softest, sweetest lips. To call them petals would not be a cliche. Yes. Oh, yes.
And did I mention she was smart? Sometimes that is the biggest turn on. Absolutely the brightest person in the restaurant, but not annoyingly so. She might even top my IQ. In fact I am sure she does. She talked pleasantly and eagerly, never missed a point. I didn’t even care that I was ignoring annoyed Frank. Meanwhile, her husband quietly listened and I presume thought about fishing. She was mine, undividedly mine.
She even reassured me that I could figure out my Garmin GPS.
I wanted to take he home.
But, alas…things would not work out or be possible. She would be an exceptional personal assistant, that’s for sure, but what would a guy like me do with a girl like her otherwise? I am a conflicted Taurus, after all. I have my loves and I know what I love. I am stubbornly loyal to that. But it was fun and exciting to feel an attraction to someone far from what I see as my ideal.
- Stats are interesting…no, really, they are! (thereinventedlass.wordpress.com)