I first titled this post “Bitter Thoughts About Urban Driving,” but that just doesn’t cut it. My thoughts on the subject are truly sordid. In fact this post will have no photos, because every picture I managed to take included my middle finger straining to maim and kill other urban drivers. While I might someday be funny in retrospect…I’m no where near a very funny mood right now.
Either urban driving or my Dell Studio 1735 laptop formerly running Windows Vista Home Premium now running Windows Vista Business will bring about the end of me. I resist the end and fight especially hard to survive because both urban driving and my Dell Studio have pushed me to behave in very sordid ways. Not since I dropped a 15 pound hardwood cutting board on my big toe, busting it bloody open, have I cursed so violently as I curse when I drive and use my computer.
(Maybe that’s why the neighbors avoid me? I thought it was my Captain Procrastination sleepwalks…could be both.)
WAIT A COTTON PICKIN’ MINUTE! HOLD ON! THIS POST IS INTERRUPTED!
WordPress has the Zemanta program that helps bloggers find links and topics relevant to the content in a new post. As you type it suggests links and such. Well…guess what Zemanta seems to think I am writing about. Guess. JOE PATERNO AND PENN STATE!
Ok, I am going to use the “fuck” word in a post for the very first time. Ready? I officially do not give a fuck about Pennsylvania State University or its old man Paterno.
There, I said it. Is my life in danger now? Honestly, other than people from Notre Dame, perhaps, I don’t know why anyone gives a flying Rip Van Winkle about all the attention Penn State is getting. It just absolutely drives me nucking futs! But there it is…Zemanta…under “Recommended Tags” … Joe Paterno and Pennsylvania State University. Was I writing about Joe or Penn State? Was I?
Ok, I have to go back and check. Perhaps I lost my friggin’ mind yet again. Going to check…
Freakin’ no! I was writing about flipping the bird and the subtleties of sordid versus bitter! What the hell does that have to do with that other stuff?
Oh, good mercy. I thought driving was bad…and IT WAS bad. You know, I’m the kind of guy who will go a mile out of his way to miss an aesthetically unpleasant intersection (and there are plenty enough of those around here, trust me, especially if you drive anywhere near Blaine or Coon Rapids), so I try to avoid feeling sick and angry. But today I seem to be nothing but sick and angry. So I’m going to go to dinner and I’ll finish this post later.
P.S. Any lucky ladies want to go out and watch me eat? I’ll be the fun good looking guy at the bar. Hit me up for a good time.