I tell you what…today is a disappointment. Perhaps I am tired. Maybe I am out of practice. Certainly I could use a dose of discipline. Whatever it is, I’m not accomplishing a hell of a lot of anything. And the pile of stuff that needs accomplishing grows larger without apparent end.
So I don’t know…I don’t know what the hell is wrong. I added to my To Do list (remember that?) “Write 500 words today” and I cannot even write 100 words of crap. Although I am a few words short of accomplishing that now. It doesn’t matter. I’m simply washed up without ever having started.
That will change soon, when I go to bed.
As I begin to fall asleep my mind effortlessly explores beautiful images and stories. You see I don’t think, I simply follow my unfettered thoughts. It works every time. And I add to these wandering images the ideas and notes I gathered throughout the day, but cannot retrieve now as I sit here awake.
Perhaps I should go to bed now. Maybe an idea will stick. Or maybe I will awake into a better situation.
That reminds me of my cousin, Fracas; as a boy he would jerk suddenly with a whoop, shaking his head and inhaling sharply as if he had just been startled from a deep sleep. “What are you doing, Fracas?” “Just making sure I wasn’t asleep.” Fracas always thought he might be dreaming. Probably still does. Me? I’m not so sure…for him or me.
But let’s get to sleep anyway. Maybe I will get something off my To Do list. It is all about doing something, one way or the other.