A New Idea for Cap and Trade

Fourth page of Constitution of the United States

Look closely...I'll be damned! Do you see that?

As the GOP and their exploited poorer cousins in the Tea Party seem to be in a race to outdo each other in bad ideas, the country suffers.  There doesn’t seem to be any stopping their pointless symbolic posturing – big issues, real issues can wait – so we might as well find a way to benefit from their fumbling about.

Why not impose cap and trade-style limits on GOP stupidity?  (That’s emission control we can all learn to live with!) 

Give them as much rope as they need to hang themselves while preventing wholesale destruction of the country.  Quantifying stupidity of the conservative sort would require a great deal of super computing power, so let’s keep things simple and keep the policy limited to elected officials. 

Limit legislators to one stupid bill per session, one stupid amendment, and maybe five stupid comments made to the media (we do need our comic relief).  Of course Democrats get the same allocation.  They can sell their stupidity quota to particularly prolific bad idea generators like Michele Bachmann or Scott Walker and help those poor little wannabe fascists.  Voila!  Redistributing stupidity can be a bridge-building activity!

I haven’t worked out all the details.  Key is getting the Republicans to go along with the idea, but that shouldn’t be so difficult.  Someone could start by going to Wikipedia and entering a paragraph in Ronald Reagan’s entry saying he actually came up with the idea.  Then have someone like Rachel Maddow call it a bad Reaganite plan.  In no time there will be a lot of conservative support for the idea.  Let’s get that done quickly, however,  so we can fast track laws creating the Stupidity Cap and Trade Act.  I even like the sound of it.

(By the way, we’ll all have a good laugh and feel good if someone could sneak a phony amendment into the Cato Institute‘s online version of the United States Constitution.  We can then look forward to hearing people like Glenn Beck and Rand Paul support the idea on the grounds of Founding Fathers’ authority.   Get those originalists all worked up!  Speaking of originalists, maybe someone could add a little to the Bible, too:  “And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, cap it and trade it, for your stupidity dost offend the Lord.”  That is a nice touch for Bachmann et al.)

But what will we trade?  Details.  I haven’t worked out all of the details.  Perhaps we could trade in something that could be paid in character and style, two things the GOP desperately lacks.  I don’t know.  Somebody help me out there.  However let’s not delay.  We have a country to save!


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