You cannot really tell from this photo — or can you? — but this is a picture of an unexcusable urban faux pas. I don’t care if the driver of this car is Gandhi. I don’t care if it is Mother Theresa. I don’t care if it is Gandhi and Mother Theresa together back from saving half the planet from perdition and debauchery…whoever parked this car should be banned from the city!
Look closely at the crime. This moron — whoever it is — parked so he or she is eating up two parking spaces. To make matters worse, this car with Nevada plates has been wasting that spot for several days now. When I am Supreme Leader, cars parked like this will be towed and destroyed. The owner will then be imprisoned 10 years for every day that car sat in the wasted spot…on the first offense. Second offense: 20 years for every day the car sat in two parking places. The idea is to protect better urban dwellers from this obscene behavior in the future. I estimate most people will not survive two offenses, however, if needed on a third offense: 35 years. (Just to make sure.)
I would give the location of this car so all three of my readers could go find it and let their dogs pee on the fender, but I am too nice for that. I will go down and leave a Post-It or two on the window signed from all of us better, sensible people advising the moron to go back to Nevada and to never return.
(Yes, I know…Mother Theresa and Gandhi are saving people in paradise now. Maybe the driver is Bad Parker, Fess Parker’s stupid little brother.)
- Parking Ticket Templates for MS Publisher (brighthub.com)